Let's Talk About Mediation

Mediation is a structured process where you and your spouse meet with a trained, neutral third party, the mediator, to work to resolve the issues in your divorce. The most important thing to realize is that the mediator is not there to give you legal advice, so you may want to retain an attorney prior to engaging in mediation to understand your legal rights and the best possible outcome. During litigation you may be ordered to participate in mediation before a substantive hearing or trial, but you also have the option of mediating your divorce before you even file your case. 

Why Divorce Mediation?

· Cost – Mediation is less expensive than litigation.

· Control – Mediation allows parties to reach a resolution based on what they feel fair rather than having the person in the black robe impose judgment. 

· Communication – Mediation supports you and your spouse working together to reach a resolution, which helps form a foundation for communication after divorce and avoid future conflicts.

· Confidentiality – Mediation happens outside of the courtroom. There are no court reporters or transcripts of what is being discussed there. 

· Settlement – Most mediations end in a resolution of the contested issues. 

· Efficiency – If all of the issues are not settled in mediation, you at least know very clearly what your spouse’s position is on any unresolved issues, which you can bring to the Court to request the Judge weigh in on only what is necessary. 

While there are many positive aspects of mediation, it’s not for everyone. 

If you are currently experiencing domestic violence or fear for your children’s safety, mediation is not appropriate and you should consult a qualified attorney regarding whether an Order of Protection or Stalking/No Contact Order is appropriate. If you are a victim of domestic violence but it is not ongoing, the pros and cons need to be assessed on an individual basis as to whether the experience would be empowering or traumatic. Some mediators do not accept cases that involve domestic violence.

If you do not trust your spouse, fear they are hiding assets, or are not making a full disclosure of their assets, then mediation is not appropriate. Both parties must be truthful and make full financial disclosures for mediation to be successful. 

If someone is using mediation as a delay tactic for payments. If you need child support or spousal support immediately, participating in mediation may delay any financial relief. It can take months to get a hearing before a Judge on support, so mediation is not appropriate if it’s being used to stall. 

If only one party has an attorney, then attorney assisted mediation is not for you.  Parties may participate in mediation without attorneys, but if you do not have an attorney, you will not have the benefit of knowing your legal rights to work towards accomplishing the best possible outcome in mediation while your spouse does. Mediation works best when both parties have attorneys or neither party has one.

Mediation works best when both parties are open to compromise, even if they do not know what the end result will look like. You and your spouse both want what is best for your children and working on a resolution together with a trained mediator can help lead you to a solution while making sure both people feel heard. 

If you  want to talk about mediation, or are ready to start the process, contact my office to schedule your free 15 minute consultation today.